Listening…truly listening…is one of the most powerful tools in any relationship-driven field
In high-stakes environments, whether you’re leading a team, supporting a client, mentoring a student, or caring for a patient, presence isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.
Presence means showing up with your full attention. It means listening not just for what’s said, but for what’s meant. And it’s one of the most powerful tools we have for building trust, reducing stress, and improving outcomes.
Reading What Isn’t Said
Healthcare research shows that nonverbal communication accounts for up to 93% of emotional meaning in face-to-face interactions (Mehrabian, 1972). That includes posture, tone, eye movement, and silence. These findings apply far beyond clinical settings.
In any relationship-based role, people often express fear, confusion, or resistance without saying the words. A colleague who says “I’m fine” while avoiding eye contact may not be fine. A client who nods but doesn’t ask questions may not understand. Presence means noticing the tension, the hesitation, the emotional undercurrent; and responding with care.
The Discipline of Distraction-Free Listening
Presence requires intention. And in a world of constant notifications, multitasking, and digital noise, that intention must be fierce.
When someone is sharing something vulnerable, whether it’s a concern, a frustration, or a moment of uncertainty, your undivided attention is the most powerful signal of safety you can offer. That means silencing your phone. Closing your laptop. Turning your body toward them. Making eye contact. And staying there.
This isn’t just about courtesy. It’s about trust. People can feel when you’re with them and when you’re not.
Reflecting to Reassure
One of the simplest ways to show someone you’re listening is to reflect what they’ve said. Not in a scripted way, but in a way that says: I heard you. I understand. I’m with you.
Try phrases like:
- “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate.”
- “You’re saying the issue started last week, and it’s gotten worse since?”
- “You’re worried that no one is really hearing what matters to you. Is that right?”
These moments of reflection do more than clarify, they validate. They say: You matter. I’m not just solving a problem. I’m listening to your experience.
Listening for the Unspoken
Sometimes the most important part of a conversation is what isn’t said. The question someone doesn’t ask. The emotion they try to hide. It’s the story they don’t know how to tell.
Presence means making space for those silences. It means asking gently, “Is there something you’re holding back?” or “What else would be helpful for me to know?”
It also means being brave enough to sit with discomfort. To not rush in with solutions. To let someone feel seen before they feel fixed.
It’s Not Just Customers Who Need to Feel Heard—It’s Your Team
A Harvard Business School study found that feeling heard is one of the strongest predictors of psychological safety. This is the belief that you can speak up, ask for help, or admit a mistake without fear of humiliation or retaliation (Edmondson, 2019).
In healthcare, this translates to better patient outcomes. In other industries, it leads to stronger collaboration, faster problem-solving, and more resilient teams.
When people feel safe to speak up, they’re more likely to share ideas, challenge assumptions, and advocate for what’s right. Studies show that higher psychological safety is directly linked to lower error rates, better performance, and stronger retention (O’Donovan & McAuliffe, 2020).
Listening is a concrete skill set that has to be practiced like any other. It’s a strategic imperative. It’s how we build cultures where people can think clearly, act bravely, and connect deeply.
What Does Presence Look like?
- Turn your body toward the person speaking
- Make consistent, warm eye contact (without staring)
- Silence your phone and close your laptop
- Pause before responding—don’t rush to fill silence
- Nod or use brief verbal cues (“I see,” “Go on”) to show engagement
- Reflect back key points to confirm understanding
- Ask clarifying questions without interrupting
- Notice nonverbal cues like posture, tone, and facial expression
- Avoid multitasking—be fully in the moment (Apple Watches are your enemy)
- End with a check-in: “Is there anything I missed or should know?”
Presence isn’t passive. It’s active, intentional, and deeply human.
In a world that often feels rushed and reactive, presence is a radical act of care.
References:
Edmondson, A. C. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. Aldine-Atherton.
O’Donovan, R., & McAuliffe, E. (2020). A systematic review of factors that enable psychological safety in healthcare teams. International Journal for Quality in Health Care, 32(4), 240–250. https://doi.org/10.1093/intqhc/mzaa025