When someone is angry in a healthcare setting, it’s easy to assume they want compensation, confrontation, or control. But most of the time, what they’re really seeking is resolution, reassurance, and repair. When we respond with emotional intelligence, we can turn a moment of trust rupture into a moment of trust recovery.
Here are the three keys to de-escalation for Trust Recovery, developed by both experience and evidence.
1. Acknowledgement and Apology — But Be Precise
The first thing an upset person needs is to feel seen and heard. That means acknowledging the situation and expressing empathy. This is not the same as rushing into a blanket apology for something you haven’t investigated. Instead it’s a recognition of the reality of service friction and a promise to take the next step. You absolutely have to express regret that there is a breakdown, but how you do it makes a difference.
Why it matters: Apologizing for a specific action too quickly can backfire. It may feel insincere, be factually incorrect, or even create legal risk if you’re accepting fault prematurely. As Harvard Medical School’s Ombuds Office notes, “Even well-intentioned apologies can exacerbate a conflict. A common understanding of the exact substance and nature of the offense is essential.”
Instead, start with a situational apology: “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Let’s figure out what went wrong.”
This opens the door to trust and promises individual attention.
2. Investigation and Intervention — Fix the Right Now
Once the person feels heard, they need to see action. That means investigating the issue, intervening in real time, and offering a meaningful resolution.
Why it matters: According to COPIC’s legal guidance on patient complaints, most individuals “want reassurance that action will be taken to reduce the likelihood that a similar incident will happen again.” They’re not just venting, they’re advocating.
Even a small fix — a room change, a new nurse, a clearer explanation — can restore a sense of control and dignity.
3. Explanation and Prevention — Show the System Is Learning
Finally, the person wants to know why it happened and how you’ll prevent it from happening again. This is where trust is either rebuilt or lost. And this is a place where you have to ensure your systems and processes are in place to ensure success. There is nothing worse than lying to a customer…I promise you that you WILL get caught. If you say you’re going to do something, make sure it will be done.
Why it matters: In a systematic review published in BMJ Quality & Safety, researchers found that “the vast majority of patient complaints are altruistic in nature,” with many patients stating, “I just don’t want this to happen to anyone else.”
This is your moment to show that your organization listens, learns, and leads with integrity.
Bottom Line
Anger is often a signal, not a threat. When we respond with acknowledgement, action, and accountability. We don’t just calm the moment. Instead we build a culture of trust.
Want to train your team in emotionally intelligent de-escalation? Klick Advisors offers practical, proven frameworks that work in real life — not just on paper.
References:
Harvard Medical School Ombuds Office. (n.d.). Apologies and conflict resolution. Retrieved from https://hms.harvard.edu/ombuds/apologies-and-conflict-resolution
COPIC. (2023). Responding to patient complaints: Legal and ethical considerations. Retrieved from https://www.callcopic.com/resource-center/articles/responding-to-patient-complaints
Reader, T. W., Gillespie, A., & Roberts, J. (2014). Patient complaints in healthcare systems: A systematic review and coding taxonomy. BMJ Quality & Safety, 23(8), 678–689. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjqs-2013-002437