Understanding Is Essential: The First Step in Conflict Resolution
When conflict arises—whether in healthcare, leadership, or everyday life—the first step toward resolution isn’t strategy. It’s understanding.
Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing with someone’s behavior. It means recognizing the underlying motivation behind the anger, frustration, or withdrawal. Without that insight, you can’t move forward in the recovery process. You’re stuck reacting instead of responding.
To help pinpoint what may be driving the conflict, consider these common emotional triggers and how to respond with empathy and clarity:
Loss of Control
When someone feels disempowered, they often seek ways to stabilize the situation and reclaim a sense of agency. This can manifest as resistance, agitation, or attempts to redirect the conversation.
What to do:
- Validate their feelings
- Offer choices to restore a sense of control
- Use options to reframe the situation
Words that Work: “This must feel like a lot. Would you prefer that we do A as the next step or B as the next step?”
Frustration
Sometimes systems and processes unintentionally block resolution, even when the person is trying their best to navigate them. This leads to impatience, escalation, and a sense of helplessness.
What to do:
- Acknowledge the friction
- Apologize for the difficulty
- Ask what questions you can answer now
Words that Work:
“You’re right, this is frustrating. What questions can I answer for you right now that can help clear things up?”
Confusion
Uncertainty breeds anxiety. When people don’t understand what’s happening—or what will happen—they may lash out in search of clarity.
What to do:
- Validate the complexity
- Ask them to share their current understanding
- Fill in the gaps and check for clarity
- Use alternative methods to communicate
Words that Work: “There’s a lot of information coming at you. I want to be sure I’m being clear. What is your understanding of what’s happening now?”
Fear
Fear triggers instinctive reactions—fight, flight, or freeze. It’s often masked by anger or silence, but it’s one of the most powerful drivers of conflict.
What to do:
- Validate the weight of the moment
- Offer reassurance through clear, positive intent
- Step back and invite them to name their fear
Words that Work: “I’m sure that you’re feeling a lot of emotion, it’s a really hard time. What is your number one concern right now?”
Final Thought
Understanding is the foundation of trust. When you respond to conflict with empathy and clarity—before emotions escalate—you shift from defense to connection. You stop chasing trust and start building it.
If you want to reduce conflict in your organization, start here:
Move from excuses to explanations.
Lead with understanding.