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Confrontation vs. Collaboration: The Intent That Changes Everything
Conflict is inevitable. But how we approach it determines whether we build trust—or break it. When we enter a difficult moment with the intent to win, defend, or deflect, we’re not resolving, we’re confronting. And confrontation, no matter how polished, is a power play. It’s about positioning, not connection. It may feel satisfying in the…
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Statistical Significance vs. the N of One
Data is my love language. I’m a complete geek about it. What’s interesting is that I’m also known as a storyteller. I often say that data gets people to the table, but story changes how they work. So how much data do you need to identify performance improvement opportunities? Well… it depends. You need both…
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Absorbing Anger: The Counterforce of Calm in Conflict
The Physics of Emotional Absorption In physics, Newton’s Third Law tells us that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. But in emotionally charged human interactions, especially in moments of anger. The most effective response isn’t equal. It’s intentionally opposite. When someone is yelling, we don’t yell back. When their speech is pressured, we…
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From Margaritaville to Meaningful Service: What the Tax Collector Taught Me About Experience
I never expected a trip to the DMV—well, the Tax Collector, as we call it in Florida—to leave me reflecting on the essence of service. But that’s exactly what happened when my husband and I went to pick up my new Margaritaville license plate, a special tribute created in honor of Jimmy Buffett’s passing. The…
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Forget the Numbers Hear the Messages
There’s a paradox I’ve wrestled with for years: I’ve built tools, frameworks, and dashboards to help teams interpret experience data—but part of me wishes they never saw the numbers at all. Why? Because the data isn’t the point. The human experience is. When teams fixate on NPS, top box scores, percentiles, or statistical significance, we…
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Absorbing Anger: The Counterforce of Calm in Conflict
The Physics of Emotional Absorption In physics, Newton’s Third Law tells us that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. But in emotionally charged human interactions, especially in moments of anger. The most effective response isn’t equal. It’s intentionally opposite. When someone is yelling, we don’t yell back. When their speech is pressured, we…
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Why Trust Is the Cornerstone of Every Relationship
Whether you’re leading a team, teaching a classroom, caring for patients, or serving the public, one truth remains constant: trust is the currency of connection. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a skillset. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. In emotionally charged environments, trust isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline.…
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People Aren’t Difficult: Situations Are
Stop Calling Customers “Difficult” They’re not difficult people–they’re human beings in difficult situations. Maybe it’s the optimist in me, but I believe people are essentially good. Well-intentioned. Trying their best. And yes, after 30 years of handling irate individuals, I know there are a few who thrive on stirring the pot—but they’re the exception, not…
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Understanding Is Essential: The First Step in Conflict Resolution
Understanding Is Essential: The First Step in Conflict Resolution When conflict arises—whether in healthcare, leadership, or everyday life—the first step toward resolution isn’t strategy. It’s understanding. Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing with someone’s behavior. It means recognizing the underlying motivation behind the anger, frustration, or withdrawal. Without that insight, you can’t move forward in the recovery…